self loveExtreme self-care is the antidote to stress, the ups and downs of life’s roller coaster and the every day grind on the hamster wheel. It’s a mindset and way of operating in the world that says I’m worth more than that.

First, you are so very worthy of a rich and beautiful life experience. Just know that – – deep within yourself every day, through every life event. Sometimes life experiences make us doubt our worthiness, the goodness in the world and the inherent good in others. Source provides us rich contrasts, so we can experience life and pick and choose our true desires. If you desire freedom, you may very well be served up a period of bondage (say in a job you do not like) so that you will know true freedom when you do experience it and feel real appreciation for the experiencing of it. If you desire true love, you may be shown the very opposite of it for a while, so that you will know and appreciate the real thing when you find it. We love immediate gratification and that makes it rough occasionally to reconcile with our highest self (Source) that has a more infinite and loving perspective on all events in consciousness.

Cultivating a sense of ease, self-love and worthiness can make the road smoother and the unfolding more wondrous. This article offers a few tips on writing your story with extreme self-care. Cultivating a loving and respectful relationship with your inner self, not only makes the ride more enjoyable but also creates a more loving space within to radiate out to others in your experience.

1.) Set the Tone in the Mornings

I’ve heard experts say “Don’t even get out of bed until you feel eager and positive about the day.” Many people meditate, pray or write in their gratitude journals before even exiting the bed. These are great practices for starting the day off great – setting your mental game right from the get go. For me, I like to get straight up and go exercise. I love my Jazzercise class because I love to dance and music elevates my spirit. As you’ll see later in this piece, both music and exercise are great ways to raise your frequency. Then after exercising, I grab a cup of coffee and take it down to the lake (about five minutes away). I sit and listen to peaceful music and watch the ducks on the placid water while drinking my morning joe. Good stuff ya’ll – it’s my way of showing love and respect to myself before getting started with the work day. What is a ritual that could work well for you?

2.) Take Breaks Through Out the Day

This one I could speak on for hours. I used to be a ‘nose to the grindstone’ kind of gal. But, over time it became evident that it was just making me feel hollow and burned out. Take breaks, recharge! Don’t do anything to the point of drudgery. This is your life. It is meant for your enjoyment. Also, research has shown that people that take breaks are more productive. So take little respites and incorporate some of the suggestions further down in this article for raising your frequency.  You’ll see throughout this piece, writing a beautiful life story is all about choosing your moments and the actions that say “I love myself” and “I’m worthy”

3.) Don’t Say Yes to Things to Which You Want to say No

This one is a hard one for us people-pleasers, but is paramount for cultivating an inner culture of self-respect and love. You know how much time you have and what is priority. Do what is right for you. Besides, giving is best with an open heart. Doing something with a begrudging heart helps no one. The ‘feel good’ comes from giving when it is truly from the heart and everyone involved can tell the difference.

4.) Cultivate Your Healthy Habits

Getting enough sleep, exercise, fresh pure water, and clean healthy whole foods is a great way to nurture yourself. Reach for these good habits and as you do so remind yourself that you are doing it because you love and respect yourself and because you are so very worthy of good things. Nothing is better than feeling good in your body.

5.) Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is appreciation for things as they are and it is a true loving feeling for what Source has provided. A practice of gratitude pays off in more and more moments of grateful contentedness.

6.) Train Your Mind to Look for the Beauty

There is beauty all around us at all times, but an untamed mind churns incessantly blocking view of what is right in front of us. A good game to play as often as you can is a scavenger hunt in which you look for things you like that is right around you (“I love this sunset”, “What a pretty garden. I love the mass of yellow daisies” “I love this first cup of coffee” “Wow, dinner smells delicious”). This trains the mind to look for beauty and wonder rather than the negative aspects of the world. Do this for your wonderful self. Try it for a few days and tell me what you think.

7.) Forgive Early and Often

You know this blog focuses a lot on letting go and shaping a more positive mind. Read the recent article on “How to Let Go for More Inner Peace” for some good thoughts on this subject. Holding onto hurtful events only continues to hurt us. Forgive early and often – both yourself and others – as a loving gesture to yourself. And, remind yourself that you do this out of self-love and respect. You don’t deserve to have negative baggage of the past hanging out in your closet. You deserve to feel good.

8.) Schedule Play Time – Social Time

It’s easy to get caught up in the work week and errands. But, we are social creatures and like connection with good friends. Take time to schedule this in and all your favorite activities. You have one life and these are your precious moments.

9.) Raise Your Frequency Daily

You hear a lot about raising your vibrational frequency, and since this is an important part of writing your story with extreme self-care, we should talk about what this is and how to do it. Frequency refers to the energy that runs through and around you – your life force. Of course your frequency and consciousness are linked.  When you are in a state of low frequency, your ego is constricting the flow of life force. Conversely, when you are open and nonjudgmental of the people and events around you, you have an expanded awareness and feel free, thus, life force flows freely within you.  Your emotions are your barometer as to whether you are in a state of low or high frequency. If you feel bad or blue, anger, or angst your frequency is low. If you feel joy, gratitude, peace, love, and the like, you are in a state of high frequency. Never try to beat yourself up over emotions, just feel them and recognize they are transient. We never want to push them down and try to ignore them. Honor yourself and your feelings for what they are right now.  Then, work to move back up the emotional scale.

Below is a short list of things you can do to help notch your way up the emotional scale, thus raising your frequency.

  • Spend time in nature – Nature is not resistant to ‘what is’ and is therefore always in harmony with the universe. It immediately calms and soothes the spirit.
  • Music – Listening to ‘feel good’ music is a surefire way to entrain with a higher frequency.
  • Scent Therapy – Scents are known to evoke positive emotions. Keep a small bottle of an essential oil in your desk that you can reach for to raise your mood. Or light a favorite candle to set a loving tone for your personal environment.
  • Exercise – This releases endorphins which make us feel great. It also is a good loving thing to do for yourself. It sends a message, “I matter.”
  • Do More Water – We are 70+ percent water. Staying hydrated improves our mood and is good for our health as it also helps with digestion, proper waste elimination and all the activities of our cells. Water is free flowing energy. Environments close to water contain negative ions, which are odorless, tasteless, and invisible molecules that raise our frequency when we inhale them in abundance. Negative ions are credited with producing biochemical reactions that increase levels of serotonin, which helps alleviate stress and depression and boosts our energy. That’s why we feel so good when swimming, floating, bathing, showering, walking near an ocean or lake or being close to a waterfall.
  • Giving I recently wrote an article on all the ways giving makes us feel happier and more blessed. It’s entitled “The Fastest Way Out of Depression.” Please check it out!
  • Social connection We are built to share, connect, commune. We are all connected. Be sure to include time with your positive friends often. Social connection is now being linked to longevity.
  • Color Therapy Look up your favorite artists or sketch or draw to boost your vibration. I like to keep a sketch pad and my colorful palate of oil pastels handy to doodle with during breaks.

10.) Limit Exposure to Negativity – In my book, Lunchtime Joy Magnet, I spend quite a bit of time on this. It’s kind of a garbage-in, garbage-out concept. We are energy and exposing ourselves to negative energy is the best way to absorb it. Just be careful in your choices of time spent with negative media, music and people.

11.) Roll with “What Is” – A blade of grass does not try to resist the wind, it bends with it. Streams flow with the terrain and gravity. Birds fly south for the winter and north for the Summer. They don’t stay and fight the elements. As mentioned above, nature is a great teacher of how to entrain with ‘what is’.  The best way to roll with what currently is in your reality is to not judge it as good or bad. There is no way for us to know whether something is truly good or bad because we don’t know to what it will lead. Converting to witness consciousness when you start to perceive a situation as bad and choosing to just watch the thoughts and emotions with objectivity and non-attachment to the outcome, helps cultivate a ‘roll with it’ mentality.

12.) Talk to Yourself Lovingly – Be conscious of your inner dialogue (as well as what comes out of your mouth). Brene Brown says, “Always talk to yourself like someone you love.” Nurture that hurt inner child.

13.) Prepare for Sleep Positively – Whatever you do before going to sleep will marinate and be in your consciousness as you sleep and can even carry into the next day. So, try to stay away from the negative news, violent or scary films. We usually watch something that makes us laugh, like Jimmy Fallon or Impractical Jokers (these four guys that do the funniest things to make each other crack up). Meditation or soft spa-like music are also great ideas for pre-sleep preparation.

As always, I’m wishing you a blessed day and a blessed life!
Sandra M Bell
Author of “Lunchtime Joy Magnet” & personal coach